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    June 15

    恋爱一个月

    相爱5分
    习惯2分
    一个月的时间,爱情得分7分
    之所以甜蜜,他待我尚好,尚无争吵,甜言蜜语尚多,相伴时间尚多
    之所以不甜蜜,彼此性格未完全磨合,我不擅言词,不得要领,开心不开心只在一个眼神之间
    是否因为爱情让我日渐远离友情,或者是否因为爱情让友情日渐远离我
    得失之间,深感矛盾
    感谢桃子始终在我左右
    以前不觉得,现在恍然大悟其实我的占有欲不小于桃子
    我也想把每个我所在意之人长留身畔,我也害怕自己会被遗忘
     
    我喜欢看到男人沉默思考亦或是认真做事的模样
    有时候看到他滔滔不绝满口荤段会忍不住去想这个男人真的跟我有关系么
    在他发火的时候我不能第一时间抚慰而后感到后悔可是第二次他发火我依然不能第一时间抚慰
    或者是因为我还不够爱,还不适应主动去爱
    就像我还不能习惯去对视,不能情愿在众人面前跟他亲密
    如果这场恋爱不得善终,多半还是我的错
    至少我现在还能这般漠然的分析自己的爱情
    证明我还在计较,计较喜欢几分,不喜欢几分,计较得到什么,失去什么,计较值得还是不值得
    一切都不是我所以为我可以的样子
     
    我想这是一场正剧,我已不可预知不可保证未来
     

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